Thursday, February 4, 2010

Have you ever...?

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and thought "what the heck happened? Where did my life go...?". Last night I woke up after having freaky dreams about my 10 year high school re-union, which isn't happening for another year, but I couldn't shake it from my mind. I'm 28 years old and what do I have to show for it? What have I done with my life? "Hi, I'm Green and I've done nothing with my life." C'mon! I left high school almost 10 years ago, I had dreams and I just wait for my next coffee break.

Have you ever been so tired, you just don't know what to do with yourself? Sleeping is pretty much pointless because there's just not enough time for it. Resting, well these bones can't find rest at all. So you're sitting at your desk, on your 2nd pot of coffee, on your 2nd pack of smokes, doing absolutely nothing but mindlessly clicking random sites online. Checking facebook and seeing just how fucking happy your "friends" are buying stuff for their farms? When I say "friends" I mean people who actually were friends at some point in my life yet have been reduced to avis of their kids or weird creepy animals. Right now the people who are closest to me I haven't even met and they have all been there for 110% for the past year.

Recently a friend told me an amazing story; He knew this girl for 10 years, but they lost touch, a year and a half ago they met by chance - there might have been something there but he got spooked and ran. Last fall he graduated uni, went through a bad time (seems like 2009 sucked for everybody), well let's just say things could have been better. At the end of the year he decided to do something about it, 2010 was going to be his year. He wrote the girl a letter, not an e-mail, but a real hand written letter, told her everything about what had happened since they re-met a year and a half ago, told her he wanted her in his life one way or another. He went to a party at her house between Christmas and New Years, if the letter writing wasn't enough he actually told her he wasn't going to run this time. Long story short they are now an adorable couple.
I met up with them last week, I've never seen a person so happy before. What a cliché, but my friend was glowing - he looked good. Healthy. Alive. The energy coming from him made me happy....

I don't really know where I'm going with this, maybe the point is he did something. Anything. Told her he wasn't going to run again. So what am I going to do? Well first of all I'm going on a much needed vacation because 2009 sucked so much and then...who knows? Probably nothing, but at least I did something...